Why have you rejected me?


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“Pastor . . .  told me that instead of complaining about you,

I should bring my complaints to you,

so that’s what I’m doing now; and I hope that you won’t punish me &

put me in hell because of my saying what I’m about to say.”


That’s how I started off my 3-page letter to Jesus Christ.  It was a long time coming.  A few months ago, I told people in my church that the last 2-3 years have been the worst in my life.  It’s been one challenge & one defeat after another.  I thank God that I’ve been able to get up after each knock-down.  I remain faithful to my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. 


Nonetheless, I could not be at peace.  Every day, I would think about the people who hurt me or the things in my life that went wrong.  I would meditate on them all day.  Even when I consciously turned away from thinking negative thoughts by remembering Bible verses or singing Christian songs in my head; as soon as the song was over, the negative thoughts and the anger would come back. Thinking like that all day is painful & destructive.  I realized that I was sick.  I also tried praying for my enemies – for years.  It made no difference.  I realize that this advice is in the Bible, and I did try it, but it gave me no relief.   Eventually, I realized that I wasn’t just angry about the stuff that was going on in my life; but I was angry at Jesus.  


Since praying wasn’t working, I decided to move onto something else.  I’m aware of one technique people use to get rid of their anger.  It’s to write letters to the people who angered them.  You don’t actually send the letter, but you can have a trusted confidante read it; or you can shred it or burn it.  I’d always heard that the technique helps dissipate anger.


It’s true.  Holding in my anger just makes it intensify.  When I started letting it out, I felt better.  I’ve never actually gone through & counted, but the Pastor who told me to go to God with my problems also told me that most of the Psalms were poems of anger, frustration & sadness.  My Lord & I are back on good terms now.  Not that He ever left, but He’s helped me to see things from a different perspective.


I’d like to hear from the rest of you.  How do you get rid of your anger?  What do you do when you’re angry at God?  Assuming you got over it, did you see any changes in your life?


“You are God my stronghold.  Why have you rejected me?

Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”

Psalm 43:2

BOW is my first experience in blogging, and my writing has undergone an evolution since I started. I use If I Knew Then What I Know Now to think aloud about my Christian walk. When you read it, my hope is that WE (the BOW community & friends) then discuss how to apply God's word into our everyday lives in a practical manner. As Christian lay-theologians, we'll talk about our world, and how we can be in it but not of it. So whatever your thoughts are about what you read, PLEASE share.
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