If I knew then what I know now

It’s Okay to Feel Your Feelings

“Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet,

but he shouted all the more . . . “

Mark 10:48

Have you ever had someone tell you not to be angry or not to cry?  I have.  It only made me more angry.

Strength for the Journey

“They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

I really didn’t want to go to church on Sunday.  I was tired.  I had been tired for the past 2 weeks.  I thought I was just physically tired.  After a few days, I realized I was also emotionally drained.  I walked and prayed.  I admitted to God that I didn’t feel like going to church and I asked him for a refreshing.  He started answering my prayer.

The sermon, Strength for the Journey, was taken from John 16:12-15 and Deuteronomy 30:11-20.  My pastor compared our journey through life to track & field.  She said that during a sprint, you can expend all of your energy at once.  During a marathon, you cannot.  Use all your energy at once, and you won’t be able to finish the race.  She said that life was a marathon.  We have to run in such a way that we can finish the race.  Her instructions on how to run that race were:

1. To allow the Spirit of Truth to guide us (2 Corinthians 2:14)
2. To order our lives in accordance with the word of God (Deuteronomy 30:16)

She did, however, caution us that living our lives according to God’s word would bring us into conflict with the world’s system, which tells us that our value is tied to what we do [for work] and what we have.  Be encouraged, she said, because there will ultimately be a blessing.  My word of wisdom for today is strong, as we’re encouraged to be strong in the Lord (Ephesians 6:10).

It also helps that the pastor delivering the sermon is spirited.  I respect and appreciate the fervency and intensity with which she imparts her messages.  I’m not sure I could listen to some sermon about having strength from someone talking to me in a monotone voice and looking like she herself wanted to take a nap.  (If you’re in a business where you have to give presentations, learn how to do it well.  www.toastmasters.org)

I thank God for answered prayer.

Getting Better & Better

He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”

Mark 8:24

I often wondered why Jesus didn’t heal this blind man, completely, the first time.  (Mark 8:22-26)  In his other miracles, Jesus healed the sufferer perfectly in his first try.  I think that this is a picture of the sanctification process.  That’s my word of wisdom for today – sanctification.

My pastor told me that sanctification is the process of God making us better and better throughout our lives.  We become more and more like Jesus.   It’s growing in the fruits of the spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22).

Sanctification is also getting ridding of hate, impatience, meanness, idolatry, gossip, greed, self-absorption, stealing, lust, cowardice, anger, and other ugly stuff.   I saw Joyce Meyers on television recently.  She said that we cannot change what we know nothing about.  Her point was that we should be happy when God shows us the ugly parts of our character, because we have the chance to change.  Facing up to the ugliness, though, is embarrassing and painful.

God never says anything to me in anger.  Other people have.  People have pointed out my problems during arguments.  Since the situation was so highly charged, I couldn’t receive it.  When God speaks to me, it’s a quiet thought when I’m in a quiet space – a revelation.  One evening, I was watching a re-run of a movie that I’d seen before.   All of a sudden, I saw myself in one of the characters!  Watching her interact with other characters gave me some insight into how I interact with other people; and the little ways I can offend people without even realizing it.  What a gift!

In the heat of anger, people can bring up every bad thing you’ve ever done and all of your issues.  God does not.  He’ll bring one flaw to my attention.  He’ll allow me to face up to it, digest it, and work on it.  After a while, He’ll bring up something else.  Slowly but surely, He heals my “vision” so that I can see myself more clearly.

Social Capital

“. . . and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.”

Ruth 1:5

Someone told me that when we read the Bible, there are natural and spiritual things going on.  If I read a passage of the Bible, and it seems to be all about the physical – look for the spiritual meaning.  If I read a passage that seems to be all about the spiritual – look for the natural stuff going on.

Even though God is not mentioned in the book of Ruth, every pastor has taught me to read the book with the thought in mind that God is at work.  God orchestrated the events in the lives of Ruth and Naomi so that both of them were ultimately taken care of.  That’s the spiritual message.

In the natural, I see people leaning on one another in times of need.  There was a famine and death.  Ruth starts out with Naomi & her two daughters-in-law.  The husbands of all three died, leaving them destitute.  These circumstances are not unfamiliar today.  There’s a worldwide recession (a.k.a., famine) going on.  A lot of people are out of work.  Some people are widowed.  What do you do when you don’t have any money?

Money is capital.  When you don’t have money, that’s when social capital has to kick in.  Social capital (my phrase of wisdom for today) is the fancy phrase for the trusted friends and family that we can turn to in times of famine.  Even though she’s not mentioned after the first chapter, it’s a blessing that Orpah was able to return to Moab to have her family take care of her.  It’s a blessing that Ruth and Naomi were able to return to Bethlehem.  There are a lot of people today who cannot go home.  They have burned their bridges with their friends, with their siblings, and even with their own parents.

Years ago, I attended a wedding at which a large portion of Ruth, chapter 1, was read.  The pastor explained that he read such a bleak passage during a wedding ceremony because the relationship between Ruth & Naomi was a beautiful picture of two people pledging themselves to one another, through thick and thin.

Oftentimes, social capital is more important than money; but it is okay to save money, too.  There was a famine during Joseph’s day.  God alerted him to the famine and told him how to prepare for it so that he, and many others, would be saved.  (Genesis 41:28-39)  I think women especially should learn how to handle their money and save for the future.  Women live longer than men, and many women will be left poor when their husband’s die.  Also, many Christian women are left financially unstable after a divorce.  There’s nothing wrong with taking a financial literacy class to learn the basics.  (www.operationhope.org) The problem comes in when we depend on our own plans, rather than God.  Plan and wait for God.

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The purpose of If I Knew Then What I Know Now is to share some insights that I wish someone had told me about when I was younger.  There’s a fuller explanation on my first post, written on May 14, 2012.

Courage & Conviction: Forerunners of the Faith

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

Acts 1:8

By God’s grace, I am privileged to live in a country which allows me religious freedom.  I can walk into a church.  I can read my Bible on the train.  I can post a message on this blog without fear of government reprisals.

In last Sunday’s service, however, I was reminded that the patriarchs and matriarchs of our faith.  They paid a real price for professing a faith in Jesus Christ.  The pastor summarized Acts 1:6-8 by saying that the disciples were expecting/hoping that Jesus would assume the throne in Israel.  Jesus’s answer was to let them know that His work was done, and their work was about to begin.  The pastor then outlined the dangers they would face in standing up for what they believed in: (1) They’d have to return to Jerusalem, where Christ was crucified, and (2)  Jesus wasn’t physically going with them.  They were on their own.

In his first public speech (Acts 2:14-41), Peter addressed a somewhat hostile crowd.  Regardless, he was a straight-shooter.  Three thousand people repented and were baptized.  Baptism was a public sign of a decision to follow Jesus.  Baptism would get people ostracized from the synagogue and have them face persecution and death (Hebrews 11:36-38).

Considering all the dangers they faced, they could only do what they did if they were truly convicted.  It takes a sense of conviction (my word of wisdom for today) to stand up for anything.  It takes conviction to be the whistle-blower at work, to protect someone against bullying, to not laugh at an off-color joke

The pastor convicted the congregation.  He told us that the church is to continue the work of the disciples and early apostles.  Each one of us is a member of the church.  It’s on each one of us to decide whether we are actually going to take up the challenge.

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The purpose of If I Knew Then What I Know Now is to share some insights that I wish someone had told me about when I was younger.  There’s a fuller explanation on my first post, written on May 14, 2012.

The Ministry of Presence

As I was with Moses, so I will be with you;

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Joshua 1:5

 On Father’s Day, my pastor gave a lovely sermon during which he compared the role of earthly fathers to our Father in heaven. He was equipped to do so because, his own father was, and continues to be, a factor in his life.  God has blessed him greatly.

My pastor, a young man, shared anecdotes from his youth about his father always being at his basketball games and other events.  He used a phrase that stuck with me all over a month later.  “The Ministry of Presence.”  Normally, when I think of ministry I think of action.  One of the definitions of minister is “to give service, care, or aid; attend, as to wants, necessities, etc”.  One of our human needs is just to be connected to other people.  We do not want to be alone.  Presence is my word of wisdom for the day.

Even if we cannot do anything for another person, just being with them makes a positive difference.  Often, I feel a pressure to do something.  If a person is sad, I feel a pressure to say something cheerful or comforting.  If a person is in a good mood, I feel a need to keep up my end of the conversation and be interesting, even when I don’t have much to say.  However, I don’t always need other people to talk to me or do anything for me.  I can enjoy a companionable silence.  So my point is, don’t shy away from people because you don’t know what to say or do.  Just be there.

Also, our heavenly Father is content to just have us with Him.

 Be still before the Lord, all mankind,

because He has roused Himself from His holy dwelling.

Zechariah 2:13

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The Wedding Feast

Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!

Revelations 19:9

 I thank God for giving me role models on how to do this Christian walk.  Two married couples showed me that you can use any event to praise God and be a witness to other people.  They demonstrated this through their weddings.

One couple invited me to their wedding, and it was the first time I’d been to a wedding that started off with Praise & Worship.  Instead of people talking & schmoozing while they were waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle, they had a friend lead us in worship songs and share her testimony.

The other couple was my aunt & uncle, who celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary several years ago by renewing their vows.  Even though it was a renewal, they used the event to talk about God’s goodness.  My main takeaway from the renewal was the two of them saying, “Hey, look at what God has done for us throughout these 50 years!  Look at how He’s kept us together for 50 years!”

Witnessing the wedding & the renewal of vows was inspiring to me.  They encouraged my faith & gave me a greater feeling of happiness.  I’ve been to other weddings, and all of them were nice, happy events; but these two stuck out in my mind because they were overtly Christ-centered.  Somehow, praising God made me feel included, rather than a spectator.

My word of wisdom for today is praise.  Now I know that I can use every event, great & small, to praise God.  I wish I knew that before.

The purpose of If I Knew Then What I Know Now is to share some insights that I wish someone had told me about when I was younger.  There’s a fuller explanation on my first post, written on May 14, 2012.

Christian Small Groups

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15

I’ve participated in Bible studies & prayer groups.  The ultimate value & impact of participating in a Christian Small Group is that, if you hang in there long enough, you get to the place where you a part of a tight small community that will rejoice when you rejoice, and mourn when you mourn.

When I first started attending my church, I didn’t know anyone; and even though people were friendly enough, it’s hard to get to know people and make friends by just coming to Sunday service.  I listened to the Sunday sermon, and then hung around church for a few minutes for “fellowship”, but it’s hard to establish friendships with people just after 5 minutes of talk over coffee & bagels.  I started to really make friends & feel a part of the church when I started participating in a weekly prayer group.  Sharing prayer requests gives you an opportunity to know people in a different way.  There’s no such thing as running out of conversation, because if you can’t think of anything more to say, you can always talk about God and His word.  As I got more and more comfortable with this group, I shared more and more personal issues with them; and they trust me more.  We developed a bond.  Last year, when I found out I was going to be laid off from my job, they had my back.  They offered job leads & advice; but, more importantly than that, they prayed for me, encouraged me, and prevented me from worrying & despairing.  When I found my next job, they rejoiced with me.

Small groups have worked for me because they’ve been confidential, friendly, all participants have a foundation that God has authority over us & that we look to the Bible to know His will; and we try to to strike a balance between holding one another accountable and allowing people to have a differing opinion about what a verse of scripture meant to them.  They’ve also worked because, even though we may have a leader, no one is an expert.  We all acknowledge that we’re all learning how to walk the talk.

Happy Father’s Day!

I will proclaim the decree of the Lord:  He said to me,

“You are my son; today I have become your Father . . . “

Psalm 2:7

Father is my word of wisdom for today.

In May, during Mother’s Day, I stood in line at the pharmacy to put in a prescription.  There were a few guys in line behind me who were talking about how cheated they felt as fathers.  They were saying that on Mother’s Day, women get everything.  As men, they’re expected to buy gifts, take women out to dinner.  Men are expected to “pull out all the stops” for the mothers in their lives.   They’re expected to buy even when they don’t have money to buy.  However, no one makes the same effort for them on Father’s Day.  They said they’ll be happy if they get a card.  Even though the men behind me were laughing & joking, it was a hard conversation to listen to.  Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us to honor our fathers & mothers, so that we can live long.  The fact that my life depended on how I treated both my parents was a revelation to me.  I wish I knew that before.

God bless all of you gentlemen who are fathering others, whether they are your biological children or not.

I pray for the men who are not able to assume their responsibilities as a father, or who refuse to undertake those responsibilities.

I am glad that God is willing to be a father to us all.  A perfect father.  A father who can and will protect us, listen to us, counsel us, discipline us, feed us, shelter us, and bless us.

I also thank God for the father He gave to me.

Fathers, enjoy your day.

Nebuchadnezzar: A Character Study

This made the king so angry and furious that he ordered the execution of all the wise men in Babylon.

Daniel 2:12

What kind of man would kill you for telling the truth?

Nebuchadnezzar wanted his astrologers killed because they told him that only the gods could interpret his dream.  My word of wisdom for today is stability.  Choose people who are emotionally stable.  Stay away from people who go from sweetness to rage as quickly as you flick a light switch on and off.

In a previous post, I mentioned having contact with abuse survivors.  When dealing with abusive folks, I learned that there’s something called a “cycle of violence”.  A woman gets beaten by her husband, who then apologizes and buys her flowers and/or gifts.  After a brief “honeymoon” period, the mood changes again.  The wife & kids are soon tiptoeing around the house, afraid to make daddy angry.  One day, she gets beaten up again; often worse than before.  Then more flowers and apologies.  Unfortunately, some women stay until they get killed.  They believe the apologies, not realizing they’re involved with someone fundamentally unstable.  (If you’re in this situation, log onto www.safehorizon.org to get some help for yourself.)

Proverbs 22:24 tells us not to associate with one easily angered.  Sometimes, for me, the Proverbs are just words on a page.  Proverbs comes to life when I read about Nebuchadnezzar, because I get a chance to see what people who are easily angered really look like.  Daniel 3:19 reports that Nebuchadnezzar is so angry with Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego that he “ordered the furnace seven times hot”.  A few verses later (v. 28-30), the same king is praising their God, giving them a promotion – and ordering that anyone who says “anything against the God of Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble .  . . “.  Seriously!?

Daddy, when your daughter is old enough to date, you might want to spend some devotional time reading through Daniel with her.

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The purpose of If I Knew Then What I Know Now is to share some insights that I wish someone had told me about when I was younger.  There’s a fuller explanation on my first post, written on May 14, 2012.