Queen Esther

For you, O God, tested us;

you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.

You let men ride over our heads;

We went through fire and water,

But you brought us to a place of abundance

Psalm 66: 10-12

I had no idea that Queen Esther was, in fact, a concubine. 

I attended the Women’s Prayer Meeting before service started.  The leader talked to us about being in “captivity”, and used Esther as her text.  She revealed Esther’s reality clearly.  She was being prepared to be “queen” for a year.  Subconsciously, I thought of her as a forerunner of Kate Middleton, being prepared to marry Prince William.  Or maybe I thought of her as a historic Cinderella, someone being elevated from servitude to freedom through marriage.  The leader was clear.  Esther was being prepared for the King’s bed.  He’d use her, send her back to the harem, and she wasn’t to return to his presence until he wanted to use her again – or she’d be killed (v. 11).  Esther had a whole year to think about her fate. 

Leader said that Christian women today live in a dichotomy, not hypocrisy, characterized by our living out our calling to God faithfully and still suffering the unspeakable – rape, sexual & physical abuse/assault, domestic violence, divorce, abandonment, loneliness, etc.  Also, like Esther, the best reason we’re given is that we live in a fallen world, but we’re not allowed to wallow in our own suffering.  We’re to recognize others’ pain and help them because our fate is tied to theirs (4:13-14).

I’m thinking that not only don’t I understand Esther, but I really don’t understand how routine it is to be misused and violated in a world without God.  The poorest American is wealthy compared to most of the rest of the world.  We’re at war, but the war is not on our shores.  I grew up with the American fairytale that pain is neither frequent nor normal.  Now, I have a dawning understanding that persecution, pain & maltreatment is both quite frequent and normal in this world.  I really do have to learn how to endure suffering rather than being paralyzed and overwhelmed by it.

None of this sits well with me. 

“The Lord is in his holy temple;

let all the earth be silent before him.”

Habakkuk 2:20